oh, the blog

I watched "Forks Over Knives" last night. loved it!
coincidentally, I walked 5 miles yesterday.
ate salad.
after watching that film, I RAN up to the mailbox this morning.
did situps, the whole 9 yards.
gee, if I did this 6 weeks ago I might have met my goal.
or not.
sooo, still at 148.
bleah.
so much for my deadline for buffness.
going to see the Fam "as is."

And then there was cake!

I haven't lost or gained and have been eating almost whatever I want.
The egg and bagel diet has had no effect. No weight gain. (no weight loss)
Bacon, bread and wedding cake has had no effect. Beer - no problem.
So, I still weigh 148.
sigh

Lost weight. Found it.

Food I eat (and love) that's bad for me: peanuts, mayonnaise.
New test diet: no peanuts or mayonnaise.
Yesterday I weighed 147.
Then I ate
half a sleeve of ritz crackers
bowl of peanuts.
Mayonnaise on my smoked trout.
giant salad with yogurt lime dressing.
today I weigh 150.
bummer.
for breakfast I'm having a big fat
egg
2 slices bacon
cheese
green chilis
on an onion bagel.
don't care. too bad.
just not having peanuts or mayonnaise.

The Wedding Prep Diet

     It's called STRESS and NOT EATING and BEING SICK.
            I don't recommend it.            
                        I did lose another couple pounds only to gain them back because I 
                             doused myself with brandy and honey for a bad cough.               
Meanwhile, I'm at 148. My eating habits have been crap. Not bad food. Just intermittent eating.
               Then bread and crackers also seemed to suppress the bad cough.                                       
Breaking News today was that not all calories are created equal.
Wow, these scientists are amazing. Are they telling me that if I only eat 900 calories of ice cream and potato chips I won't really lose weight? Geniuses.
                             Like, uh, brandy and honey makes me gain weight?
So, I'm about 4 weeks out to buff land and family visit. Not like they all didn't just see about a million pictures of me at my son's wedding.
But I'm still bound and determined to wear my old cute clothes and feel better...and have a thinner face. It's me who sees me in the mirror everyday. Nobody else.
                         I'm the one whose opinion matters.
               Back to oats and fruit and yogurt and spinach and carrots.                    

Hallafukinlooya

Basically, just quit eating.
147.
Actually, yesterday I had:
                           a banana
                                       frosting and cake batter
egg yoks (leftover from white cake) with sweet potatoes and sour cream
                                      salad
                  Whew.

4 weeks to ????

Okay, I've totally blown off writing down what I've been eating...
             but that doesn't mean I've blown the diet                       
I've just been horrendously frustrated that while consuming around 1000 calories a day....
                Nothing Changes!!!!!!                
             So, here I am, reporting in                     
          and down a pound          
                 again                       
                                aaahhhhh, 149, how wonderful you are                         
I guess it's only been 2 weeks. and in that 2 weeks I've lost and gained that same pound            
but golly, how stubborn am I?
My friend who recently lost 30 pounds said she finally just basically had to quit eating...
Yup, that's about it....just don't eat......much......
Yesterday I had:
                                          pancakes =     400
the rest of my grandson's hamburger  = 600
        big salad with everything         =      400
Total                                                       1,400
I hung in there and did not sit out front and watch the sky with an ice cold beer
I had iced herb tea with honey. It was yummy.
My son is getting married this weekend.
There will be cake.
and barbeque.
and liquor.
I plan on having some of all of it.
But I would also really like to fit into my favorite summer pants!!!!!!!
Oh total motivation.
I refuse to weigh 150.
Oh total consternation.

just starve already

Oatmeal with dates and walnuts that took me all day to finish!
and
1/2 trout, sweet potatoes, grilled onions and grilled carrots all cooked in mega olive oil
small salad with balsamic wilted with the grilled stuff
no calorie count as I am at work eating lunch (leftover of the above)...
weight = 149.
hang in there baby
change takes time
how many weeks do I have left?
how many weeks has it taken me to get serious?
O.K., don't answer that.
I drank piles of water and also took some psyllium husk with bentonite clay just to ensure I don't have a bunch of gunk (that weighs a lot) stuck in my system.
Oh, and thought, maybe since I'm exercising so great, I'm just replacing the fat with muscle which, of course we all know  - weighs more.. yeah, o.k., that's it.
can't wait to weigh in tomorrow.
golly.

What's my probem?

I ate yogurt and fruit.
A lovely Soup.
Probably about 900 calories.
Then I basked in the warm summer evening with a big fat brandy sour.
and 2 slices of bread and butter.
gained a pound.
think it's the sugar? alcohol? that's messing with my metabolism?
huh.

total motivation - so so on the food diary

Yogurt and fruit =   300
Tuna salad =           300
cheese and crackers = 300

total                           900

Fast Forward through the weekend

Oh hell, there was no food diary keeping over the last 3 days.
Birthday party for the 4 year old = burgers and beer and cake and ice cream with the family. The weather was beautiful, we had a great time and at least I resisted the second ice cream sandwich.
I didn't GAIN any weight...
Soooo, I started my Monday with fruit and nuts and yogurt.
Lots of water.
What a good girl am I.

didn't butter my popcorn

That's progress. I did however use too much oil when I popped it but the salt stuck really great.
Sometimes I crave salty food. Sometimes I just eat salt and skip the food.

smoothie              300
popcorn                160
salad                     200
soup                      200
honey in tea            60
Total                    920

Write it all down!

apple              60
feta cheese    100
grapes           100
peanut butter  250
crackers           60
pancake         200
syrup                50
bacon              100
soup                 100

total               1,020

Sooo, really, you think I should lose weight on this caloric intake????????
You'd think!!!!!!!!!!!

I lost a pound. Again. Back to 149.

big sigh.

writing what I eat

Not really.
That's the thing with the food diary. You have to write down what you eat or you forget.
                 So let me simply say, I ate o.k. the last few days but had the kids for 2 days and ate a cookie and macaroni and cheese.
                                  I gained 2 pounds and lost them.                        
                      I have been exercising                     
O.k., so, yesterday I had:
pancake         250
big salad
with
cheese                       150
dressing                      60
1/2/ avacado             185
lots of veges              200
vege currysoup         400
crackers                      40
peanuts                        80
Total                        1,115
That doesn't sound like much. I should be losing weight. Huh.
I thought about a day after I started this blog that it was stupid.
then I thought, it's only for 6 wereks, so hang in there and lose some fucking weight.

food diary go to hell

I have one day a week at my job that kicks my ass, and I come home and eat and drink everything in sight and that's what I did yesterday.
             20 crackers = 80
            cheese  =       150
            salad =             10
       big smoothie =    300
            pancakes =   300
             gin =             120
           wine =             200
total                       1,160
I think I remembered everything. that's still not a bad total. so, here I sit at 150. huh. was 148 when I got home from work. I just felt better, so I weighed myself. then, ate everything. my tally should maybe be more than that with maybe more cheese than I think I had, but oh well. one day at a time here.

16 pounds and what do you get...

...another day fatter and deeper regret...

However, I lost one pound.
....add about 300 calories from a peanut snack to yesterday. Still that leaves me with a total of around 1,100 or so...
             if I can keep that up for, only!, 40 more days.....
                        if I lost a pound a day                               
well, I don't need to do that....
Sooooo, exercise. eat right. exercise, eat right. huh. what a concept.
Okay, today's food diary:
               oat, nut pancakes: 100
               smoothie:                400ish
               peanuts (again!)      200
Total                                      700
                       so far today.

Bought beautiful lettuce today, so it's big salad time for dinner.

Food Diary

     The total motivation c omes from a visit to see my mother and three sisters. None of my clothes fit, and my weight is at an all time high. Bad bad bad bad and depressing.
     I'm going to begin by keeping a food diary and count fucking calories.
     I'm also going to start fucking exercising.
               Every day. Six Weeks.
                     No Booze until I lose 16 pounds.
If I lose the weight before the 6 weeks is up, I can have a cocktail.
                          Now there's some motivation.                                              
        I started today by moving 2 wheelbarrows of dirt down to the ruts in the driveway.                    
     I just ate about 1/2 cup of raw cashews (twice the serving size). For breakfast I had a hardboiled egg and potato salad. Must write that down now.
                                  starting weight: 150.
                      Calories
                       Cashews = 370
                       Egg          =     81
               potato salad =130
                 salmon         =250
                                 ________
                                         831         
                                  so far today